Entry 19830504 - Doctor Fran Mercer

_May 7, 1983, Dayton, Ohio_


"Come in, Fran," Doctor Laura Paulus said. "There's tea and coffee on the sideboard, and bagels. The cream cheese is in the mini-fridge."

"Thanks."

Doctor Mercer helped herself to a cup of English Breakfast tea and a bagel with cream cheese, then sat down in a comfortable leather chair set at an angle to the one where Doctor Paulus was sitting.

"How are you feeling today, Fran?" Doctor Paulus asked.

"About the same as when I spoke to you on Wednesday."

"Remember what we talked about? About getting too close to a patient? I'm pretty sure that's the problem here. You and Bethany Krajick were too close; you are too close. And I think that's also linked to the other issue that's bothering you - your patient with an enhanced sex drive."

"Bethany's choices do not make sense, and just because he's functioning doesn't mean what he's doing is healthy!"

"And yet, the only real measure we have to use is whether a patients is functioning well - has a job or is doing well in school, has friends, is taking good care of themselves, and so on. Would you say that their behavior is putting either of them, or others, at risk of serious harm? Or that they are unable to care for themselves, complete school, or hold jobs?"

"No. And I know the next thing you're going to say - just because we don't like the outcome doesn't mean we've failed."

"Because it doesn't."

"Laura, you can't believe sex is a cure for the trauma of rape!" Doctor Mercer protested. "It isn't, and it never will be!"

"Of course it's not, but that's not the end of the discussion, either. One of our most important tasks is helping a patient overcome the trauma and return to normal intimacy. That's what a successful recovery from rape looks like - a survivor who can be truly intimate with a mate. There really is no other criterion for success. Anything short of that is coping, and sometimes that's all that's possible. But when a return to true intimacy is possible, we should seize the opportunity.

"You worked with Bethany to help her understand that rape is about violence, not about sex. Her solution to getting past the mental block was to make love with the safest person she knew, someone she could trust implicitly, and someone who fully understood that Bethany wasn't 'damaged goods'. That person, if I understand you correctly, convinced her that she was still a virgin! In other words, your treatment worked exactly the way it's supposed to work, and Bethany had a loving partner who helped her through it, which is ideal.

"Your difficulty is with the young man she chose as a partner. But if I recall correctly, they dated for quite some time before she asked him to make love with her. He's also a straight-A student who runs a successful business in his field of study. Yes, he's promiscuous, perhaps in the extreme, but he hasn't had any sexually transmitted diseases, and as far as you've said, other than his trouble with his mom, he has a positive relationship with his family as well as his friends. I seem to recall something similar about a young woman who did her clinical internship with me."

"Laura," Doctor Mercer sighed.

"No, it's time to bring this back into the open. How many partners did you have before Sam?"

"That was different!"

"Really? You were a teenager in the late 50's and you were on the leading edge of the 'free love' movement on campus in the early 60's, long before the 'Summer of Love'! So, how many?"

"We've discussed this."

"Yes, we have. How many?"

"Five," Doctor Mercer replied with annoyance.

"And how many FEMALE partners?"

"You're a pain in the butt, Laura!"

"Yes, I am. How many?"

"One," Doctor Mercer said grudgingly.

"My point is, that regret for your OWN behavior isn't sufficient cause to object to that same behavior in one of your patients, so long as it isn't interfering with their functioning in their family, job, and society in general. And from what you've said, Sam was no monk, either. Was your first lover experienced?"

"Yes."

"So you're objecting to Bethany taking an experienced lover?"

"Philip didn't have THAT much experience!"

"This guy has really gotten under your skin! We need a name to make the conversation easier."

"Steve."

"How many partners has he had?"

"A dozen before Bethany, four times that number after."

"That's pretty impressive, when you think about it," Doctor Paulus said with a smirk.

"Oh, stop! Not you, too!"

"You were really high on Steve when you first met him and he offered to help Bethany. You said he was doing wonders for her. And you believed that right up until she said she was going to sleep with him to get past her mental block. Then he became, in effect, public enemy number one in your book! But let me ask you this - how is their relationship now?'

"That's difficult to say. They're the best of friends, and she's in love with him. But his lifestyle doesn't really allow for the kind of relationship she's dreamed about - husband, two or three kids, a house with a white picket fence, a dog, a cat, and a parakeet. The chances of him settling down are pretty much zero. She's carried a torch for him even while he played around and continues to play around."

"You don't think he'll marry?"

"Where is he going to find a woman who will put up with his kind of shenanigans? I honestly don't see him changing."

"Maybe Bethany just waits him out. She's just finishing her Sophomore year, so she's at least five years away from her practice. Guys like Steve tend to calm down after college when life gets real. I've seen it many times, especially with kids who were in college in the late 60's. Kids aren't marrying as young now as they did in the 50's and 60's."

"Maybe," Doctor Mercer allowed.

"I'll spare you the lecture and change the subject. How did things go with Michael?"

"I called him a 'Grade-A idiot'," Doctor Mercer said with a sly smile.

"Fran, you know that's not appropriate!"

"Oh, it certainly is for Mike! In a way, he's like Steve in that he wants to hear things straight. In fact, I'd say for both of them, only blunt and direct will ever be effective. The proverbial two-by-four to the temple And, honestly, I think that's a very good thing for a kid who wants to work in the ER; it might even be mandatory for success."

"So, what happened?"

"Basically, he messed up his relationship with a girl he feels is his soul mate and is trying to figure out a way to set it right. They've known each other since kindergarten, but didn't get together until after graduation. Then she was in a bad accident and things went downhill from there."

"Do you think she is his soulmate?"

"I think he thinks so, which is really all that matters, isn't it?"

"I suppose so. How is he doing otherwise?"

"He's doing well in school; he's a straight-A student in the honors program. He's having difficulty creating stable relationships, and I think that's a direct result of trouble with his soul mate. There are probably some residual issues from what happened with the false accusations about his sister as well. I think he has some work to do, but I believe he's going to turn out OK."

"And his sister?"

"Given the trauma she suffered, she's doing about as well as can be expected. According to Mile, she expects to graduate on time next year. She's also planning on going to junior college. He's positive she's not engaging in any risky behavior."

"I'd call that a win, I think. Shall we go back to what brought you here?"

"I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to the idea."

"This has been bugging you for some time - why not refer Steve to someone in Chicago? He doesn't have a diagnosable illness, so you don't have an ethical obligation to keep seeing him. I think that the fact that he gets under your skin IS why you still see him. He's a challenge and you can't give up on the challenge, no matter how much his behavior annoys you. I think it intrigues you enough to want to find out what actually makes him tick."

"Have I told you recently that you're a pain in the butt, Laura?"

"About fifteen minutes ago, I think it was! So, what do you think?"

Fran sat back and considered a moment before she answered.

"Abusive mother; mainly disinterested father who served as mother's enforcer until Steve's late teens; doting sister; brother, who is mom's little angel, but who has been arrested for exposing himself to pre-pubescent children; his first lover was ten years older; the girl he claims was the love of his life died at age fifteen; an unintended pregnancy at age sixteen, but the girl's mother forced her to have an abortion against their will; there was no physical abuse, but a lot of mental and emotional abuse, and a lot of emotional trauma."

"Looking for love in all the wrong places?" Doctor Paulus asked with a silly smile.

"It doesn't feel like that. He's not lacking for good friends nor for girls who love him. I think there's something else going on."

"Any medical issues?"

"He's prone to fainting under stress, but I've always chalked that up to the fairly common syncope we see in adolescent males; that said, he's twenty and should have outgrown that by now. He was an avid swimmer at home, now he's practicing karate and advancing through the ranks. He also runs. His diet is good, though he drinks a lot of Coke."

"Regular physical exams?"

"I believe so, but I don't ask those questions. The information I just gave you is what he's volunteered during our sessions."

"And given his obvious intelligence and business success, I'll assume no mental impairment."

"No, I'm reasonably sure this is purely emotional, and a result of the abusive home situation while he was growing up. His dad did come around, as I said, and they have a decent relationship now, though they both have to be careful because of his mom."

"What's your goal?"

Doctor Mercer laughed, "Until I figure him out, I can't really say!"

"He's functioning, Fran."

"I know. You don't have to keep reminding me."

"Apparently I do. Is anything else bothering you?"

"Just that ethics prevent me from telling my current patient that her head is full of complete garbage put there by an ignorant misogynistic charlatan masquerading as a man of G-d."

"She was seeing Steve, too, right?"

"Don't start..." Fran said, with obvious exasperation in her voice.

"It seems a good portion of your practice revolves around him," Doctor Paulus said with a smirk. "But let me ask you - what better antidote to an evangelical preacher could you find?"

"Too far, too fast. At her core, she's a normal, red-blooded teenager. The problem is, her head was filled with ideas which ran counter to who she really is."

"Lesbian?"

"Probably not, but, and I can't believe I'm saying this, willing to experiment in a safe environment with a safe male partner."

"Steve?"

"As I said, I can't believe I said it. For some reason, girls feel safe with him."

"Maybe you should investigate that angle. Find out what it is that attracts the girls to him."

"I'm not sure I want to know," Doctor Mercer said, shaking her head. "But it would be an interesting avenue to pursue."

"How are things at home?"

"Things with Sam are fine and the girls are teenagers!"

"Which means what?" Laura asked with an arched eyebrow.

"They're growing up too fast."

"Sarah?" Doctor Paulus asked.

"I'm concerned she's getting too serious too fast with her young man."

"You're concerned she's doing the same things you did at her age?"

"Here's your free shot at me, Laura; this is different."

"I'll pass on the pot shot and just ask you to think about whether it really IS different or not. Is sixteen now all that different from sixteen in the 50's?"

"The world is a much more dangerous place."

"Is it, really, Fran? Or has your perspective changed? The world looks different to a parent than it does to a teenager. You know that."

"How did you handle Melissa?"

Doctor Paulus laughed, "About the same way you're handling Sarah! It took some time, but eventually I realized that Melissa was mature enough to make good decisions. I believe Sarah is as well."

"It's so easy to counsel parents and teens," Fran said. "It's much more difficult to raise your own kids."

"She'll be fine, Fran."

"That's what Sam said!"

"Just be there for her. You've prepared her well, and she'll make good decisions."

"I hope so."